Last week, we started musing on what it means to model the kind of person you want others – especially children – to be. As you have been thinking about that, what sorts of characteristics have come to mind?
What would you want to do less of?
And what would you want to demonstrate more of?
There is no hierarchy for good character traits of course – it will depend on your own values as much as anything else. But for me, pretty high up the list is
Kindness
How have you been shown kindness over this past week? What sorts of random or less random acts of kindness have you been in receipt of?
And how have you shown kindnesses to others?
Fabulous quote on kindness from the Random Acts of Kindness folk:
It’s just about the only thing in the world that doubles when you share it.
And there is science behind the benefits of kindness too, according to the wee video on the Random Acts page, which you can see here.
When you look up definitions of kindness, it means the quality of:
friendly, generous and considerate.
What I love about that is how simple it is, but how powerful are those words in combination. Being friendly is great, but couple that with being generous and the effect is more than doubled. Add consideration to the specific individual in question into the mix, and the effect is magnified considerably.
How much fun is that?!
And often showing random acts of kindness like that is easy, quick and simple. But – and here of course is the kicker – it takes us to have a level of consideration beyond our own immediate circumstances. This links back to the idea of being busy and present. When we are busy, and distracted, it is harder to notice what is going on around us – those who might benefit from a little act of kindness on our part be it a smile, a word of encouragement, a helping hand.
So for me, being considerate is not just about considering the unique situation and needs of the person in front of me – shop keeper, colleague, family member. It is about stopping in that moment and considering my own immediate situation and what response I can give. Not being caught up in my own world or what’s next on my list, but giving internal consideration to how I can do something small beyond my own self.
Last week, a friend made me a beautiful gift. She took time over it, used her own skills and creativity and materials. And even more, she personalised it for me with specific words that mean a lot to me. I was moved to tears by her kindness. Her gift was generous, considerate and unexpected and I will treasure it. And it serves as a wonderful prompt to me to do something similar for someone else.
Yesterday I had a long conversation with a new connection I had made on LinkedIn. A wonderful, inspiring and skilled marketing expert, I initially – and somewhat skeptically – expected her to be trying to sell me her programmes. But over the course of the call, she showed interest in me, asked about marketing challenges I was facing and then gave specific and clear pointers about how to address some of these challenges. I came away from the call bowled over by her kindness and generosity with her time. What was fun was I got to ask her what I could do for her in return. She paused and said the question was unexpected. But – as the Pay it Forward people know – generosity breeds generosity.
Kindness grows and fosters kindness and everyone wins.
None of this is new of course. According to Wikipedia, the origin of the phrase “Pay it forward” could be over a hundred years old. The idea of being kind to unexpected beneficiaries is not new.
And I have spoken here about this often before. The importance of kindness as we each in our own small way seek to make this world a better place – read more here. And examples of kindness on the world stage, more here.
But like everything in life, it hurts not to be reminded of that which is most important.
So this week, I encourage you to do two things.
Make a note each day of kind acts that you have received. It is a great way to build gratitude and confidence.
And secondly, each day take time to consider who you can be kind to and how. Be they random acts of kindness, little things in the moment, or carefully-thought-through acts: ideally, all three!
Choose to be kind and gain as much as you give.